We didn’t have time to answer all of the questions during the experience on Sunday, but to make sure nobody gets left our we decided to follow up and answer the rest of the questions here.
“How much attention is too much attention, for your significant other? (i.e. can you make an idol out of your partner?)”
We briefly talked about this on Sunday. Every relationship is different and every person has different quotas to satisfy their need for quality time. However, the line we have to avoid is when the relationships shifts to NEED. When you need the other person to feel worth or value or contentment with yourself then it’s gotten to a point where it is unhealthy.
“What is the best way to say “no” to a toxic person?”
Saying no is hard for a lot of us. It’s never easy to feel like you are disappointing people or letting them down. BUT, that doesn’t mean you don’t need to have those hard conversations with people at times. If you’re not heading in the same direction or have the same values you will inevitably have to say no. You don’t have to make it personal or about them. Always find a way to be gracious, but firm.
“If you’ve had sex can you go back to living a pure life in your next relationship and follow what God wants or is it too late?”
“Even if you have you restrain yourself outwardly, how bad is it if you’re lusting internally?”
“What if you come from totally different religions?”
Relationships are hard enough without compounding the situation with different beliefs and values. Paul talks about being equally yoked, which is a simple analogy for making sure our relationships are heading in the same direction at the same pace. It’s vitally important to have a shared faith- “missionary dating” rarely works.
“Is it ok to be in a relationship with someone who is a single parent?”
“Are ideologies potential dealbreakers? Views on same-sex marriage, abortion, etc.”
Potential deal breakers? Yes. It really all depends on the level of dogmatism involved. If it’s something their extremely passionate about and you strongly disagree then you’ll likely end up a constant state of “heated discussion”. We are all different and have different upbringings that form our beliefs, but you shouldn’t have to change what you believe to make a relationship work. It really comes back to the idea of being equally yoked. Relationships work better when they’re headed the same direction.
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